Letting Go of Control, Inviting Flow.
A gentle reflection for the woman who’s exhausted from holding it all together—and ready to reconnect with who she truly is.
There comes a time when holding it all together just doesn’t work anymore.
Maybe you're here now.
You’ve done everything right. You’ve shown up, delivered, kept the peace, smiled when it was hard, stayed strong when you were tired. You've been the reliable one—the one people count on. And yet, there’s a quiet ache you can’t ignore anymore.
You catch yourself thinking:
”Why am I still so anxious, even when everything looks fine?”
Or maybe:
“Who am I, beneath everything I’ve had to become?”
These aren’t breakdown thoughts. They’re breakthrough thoughts.
They’re the first signs that something inside you is ready to shift—from control to flow, from performance to presence.
Let’s explore that together.
Control Is a Clever Protector
It starts subtly, doesn’t it?
You try to say the right thing.
You edit your tone.
You plan the timing of hard conversations.
You anticipate other people’s reactions before they even speak.
All of it makes sense. You learned early that being in control was how you stayed safe.
But now, it’s not safety—it’s suffocation.
In Jungian psychology, we call this part of you the persona. It’s the social self—the version of you that knows how to adapt, to perform, to please.
The persona is not the enemy. It’s done its job well.
But you are more than who you've had to be.
There is a deeper you—Jung called it the Self.
The Self is not worried about being liked.
The Self is not concerned with keeping up appearances.
The Self is not fragile.
The Self is whole. Wise. Rooted. Real.
To reconnect with that part of you, you have to loosen the grip on who you think you're supposed to be.
And that’s where the magic of surrender begins.
Eastern Wisdom: There Is Strength in Softening
In many Eastern traditions, surrender is not about giving up—it’s about returning.
To presence. To trust. To alignment.
Taoism offers us the concept of wu wei—effortless action, or flow.
It’s about living in rhythm with life, instead of constantly pushing upstream.
It’s not passive. It’s wise. Strategic. Spacious.
In mindfulness, we learn to sit with what is—not to judge it or fix it, but to witness it.
And from that place of grounded presence, we act from clarity, not fear.
Surrender, in this way, is a practice of:
✨ Softening—not collapsing.
✨ Listening—not withdrawing.
✨ Remembering—not escaping.
What Might Open Up If You Stopped Managing How You’re Seen?
This is a beautiful place to pause. Take a breath.
Ask yourself this question—not from your head, but from your heart:
🌀 What might open up if I stopped trying to manage how I’m seen?
Maybe you’d feel lighter.
Maybe you’d laugh more.
Maybe you’d speak your truth—even when your voice shakes.
Maybe you’d let people in, instead of performing your way into acceptance.
And maybe, just maybe, you’d be met—not for who you’ve tried to be, but for who you actually are.
The Cost of Control
Let’s be honest—control has served you.
But what has it cost?
What joy have you missed because you were too busy predicting the worst-case scenario?
What softness have you denied because you were trying to stay strong for everyone else?
What connections have stayed surface-level because you didn’t feel safe to be seen?
The truth is:
You can’t fully connect with others if you’re always managing their impression of you.
Real intimacy, real presence, real peace—live in the space beyond control.
A Space to Practice Letting Go
If this speaks to you, you’re not alone.
We’re gathering in a space where these conversations can unfold—with warmth, humour, vulnerability, and presence.
Our upcoming book club, The Places That Scare You by Pema Chödrön, is all about turning gently toward the parts of ourselves we usually avoid.
You don’t need to finish the book.
You don’t need to have the “right” thing to say.
You just need to come as you are.
🌿 Join us in person: The Places That Scare You – In Person
🌀 Or online: The Places That Scare You – Online
This is not about self-improvement.
It’s about self-remembrance.
It’s about saying yes to the parts of you that have been waiting to be met with kindness.
Letting go isn’t about giving up—it’s about coming home.
To presence.
To truth.
To the you that’s been there all along, waiting to exhale.
You don’t have to hold it all together anymore.
You’re allowed to soften.
You’re allowed to be seen.
With love and gratitude,
Cindy Schmidt
Owner, Wild New Way Jungian Life & Relationship Coaching
wildnewway.com | 970-985-2416 | 813 Main Ave, Suite 201, Durango, CO
If you're feeling stuck in your relationships, unsure of your purpose, or simply looking for deeper meaning and fulfillment in your life, as a Certified Master Jungian Life and Relationship coach, Cindy Schmidt can help guide you toward greater self-awareness, clarity, and connection.
Through the lens of Jungian Psychology and Eastern Philosophy, you'll gain a deeper understanding of your inner world and develop tools to navigate life's challenges with greater ease and grace. If you're ready to embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and growth, take action now and book a Complimentary Clarity Session with Cindy. The benefits of this work are immeasurable, and the possibilities for your life are endless. Don't wait another day to start living your most fulfilling, authentic life.